You Can't Succeed Until You Fail

Maybe I've been jaded by where I've been working. But I feel that students who are at the end of my generation and the beginning of the next are not truly learning anything from school. We as a society are continually shoving success down their throats, and now they have no idea how to be a failure. And if they do fail, it's everybody else's fault. It's something that's thrown into their faces continually.

"I know you lost the game, but that ref was really being unfair. You would've won if he called those fouls."

"Don't worry. I'll call your teacher. You had a rough day and that F shouldn't count against you. I'll talk to him to get a make-up. That wasn't fair you had to take the exam then."

"You should be able to hang out and have fun. That's way to much work for a student to try and complete."

"A majority of you failed this portion of the exam, so I'm going to put these questions on the next test so you get a second chance. If you do well on the next test, we won't count this grade."

"You get to throw away the worst of your grades for the semester. Only the top 4 tests count."

You see it over and over and over. But here is where the problem lies. As a society, kids are growing up not knowing how to fail. And instead of letting them fall flat on their faces, pick themselves up, dust themselves off and learn from it, we're adapting how we cater to them. We are completely changing our ways to prevent the big F word from entering their vocabulary.

The other thing is, I'm not that far removed from a lot of the students I'm talking about. But I honestly can say, the things I failed at taught me more then the things I was successful with. I wanted to come into education to help students, I wouldn't have gotten here without failing at least a few times.

Failure Example 1: When I was in high school I went to an amazing leadership camp for a week. I wanted nothing more then to return to the camp as a counselor. Counselor positions were open to those who completed the camp. The day the applications came out I was giddy with excitement. I thought for sure I could get a position. I submitted the application, I went to the interview and 2 weeks later I got the letter saying, "We're sorry, we have gone with someone else..." at the same time my best friend got the "Congratulations!" letter. I was devastated.

What it taught me: Don't always count on getting a position. Also, you truly can be happy for someone who gets what you've really wanted, even when you don't. It taught me to control my jealousy. It made me re-evaluate how I was presenting myself. It made me think about why I didn't get the position. And more then anything it made me realize that even with that failure I still wanted to work with people and help them develop.

Failure Example 2: I applied to 3 grad schools after Arcadia. The top of my list was University of Delaware. One of my best friends was going there for a different program. It was a quick drive/train ride to Glenside where I went to grad school. It was an awesome program. Everything I wanted was at Delaware. I got an interview. It made me really excited. I felt like I was clicking with the staff really well. Then a couple months later, I got the "We're sorry we only have so many spots and we're offering it to other people" letter. I read the letter while I was at lunch with a friend. Only to be immediately asked by a staff member who went to Delaware if I got in. I had to leave. I went back to my room, luckily done with classes for the day. I honestly sobbed my eyes out for about 2 hours. I fell asleep for a bit from pure exhaustion. I didn't go to dinner that night. I cried with my friends that night. I honestly can't explain how crushing that was.

What it Taught Me: Sometimes your dreams do get crushed. But that's when you have to re-evaluate them and see how you can still reach your goal, in a new way. I was accepted to my last choice school. I applied because I had a friend who went there from Arcadia and got in. We had similar backgrounds, the biggest different she was a sociology major, I was a psychology major. I did not want to go there, but I wanted to work in student affairs. So I went. To be openly and perfectly honest. I absolutely hated, HATED Clemson my first year there. I wasn't happy. I looked into other grad programs, I seriously considered dropping out. Actually made a pro/con list. I shared this with no one. Until a day when one of my cohort members told me he probably wasn't coming back after the holiday break. We met for lunch. We talked about what was going on. I told him he wasn't alone. I told him when I chose to stay. Because working in a college was that important to me. Well, after Christmas he came back. Things didn't really get easier the next semester. I was very silently just as miserable. The summer was rough. I think I worried some of my friends there. Then I visited my Arcadia people that summer. While it made me incredibly sad to leave and almost hate Clemson even more for being far from them...it also was the refresher that I needed. Things picked up after that. I started making more connections or well better connections. I started liking my job more and more. I started trusting people there more and more. I made some friends that I know will last a lifetime. And I started dating Terence. That's when I started to love Clemson. That's when I started to value the education I was receiving. I had hands on experience with nearly everything I was learning in the classroom. I'm incredibly thankful I landed there and so happy I decided to stay. It taught me that things can get better and it reinforced learning from failure is sometimes the best learning there is.

Those are just a few examples. There are many more. I'm not ashamed to admit my failure, because it taught me some of life's biggest lessons.

So here's to hoping these students fail. Here's to hoping it teaches them everything. Because again, I honestly don't believe you can succeed until you fail.

"Philadelphia, You're in my heart"

Philadelphia: An amazing four years of college



What to love:Philly has a lot to offer...which is one of the reasons I love the city so much. The Philadelphia Museum of Art is always bringing in new exhibits. I can spend hours in there going in room after room looking at the pieces. Not to mention the top of the steps is my most favorite view of the city (see above).

The Franklin Institute is more fun then you'd think. A museum? For learning? And you're how old? Yup, I love it...it's fantastic to know that between 18-22 I can walk through a giant heart, push buttons to see lightening, see what Ben Franklin researched and invented, try on a pair of bifocals and just be a kid again.

Now, those are just 2 of the many other museums in Philly, they have everything from art to science, animals to former penitentiaries. It's a place that it'll be hard not to learn something during your visit.

Not only can you go off and expand you're brain, but you can see shows galore. The Kimmel Center, Walnut Street Theatre, The Theatre of the Living Arts, and tons more. Whether you want to see your favorite artist, a brand new play, an orchestra or a musical. You can do it in Philly. They've got a place that offers it all.

Now, if music, small paintings and sculptures aren't the type of art you're looking for just take a drive through the city. Philly is famous for it's murals and large sculptures. I've actually had the privilege of helping out with one of the murals in Fishtown a few years ago. But all throughout the city you'll find murals celebrating cultures, historic events, you can see massive whales, and tribal art. You can find giant dominoes or the biggest clothespin you'll ever see. Every corner you turn is a new form of art.

And if art just isn't your thing let's talk sports. The Eagles, The Flyers, The Phillies, 79ers. If you like sports, you'll find them in Philly. Now, don't trash talk any of them too much...because Philly loves their teams. It's almost impossible to go a whole day without passing someone who is sporting one team shirt or another...and sometimes you'll see all of the sports represented on one person too. Not to mention, it's kind of nice that most of the sports venues are located right next to each other.

Now, if you're the athletic type...there's beautiful Fairmount Park that you can take a bike ride or a run in. It's a gorgeous area. If your not so athletic and want to take a picnic to the park...that's ok too (and more up my alley..mmmm...picnic).

Now, is hustle and bustle of city life a bit too much? Take a ride over to Chestnut Hill and you'll get that quaint small town feel as you pass by farmer's markets; boutiques, yarn shops, old fashioned toy stores and tiny cafes. Speaking of cafes...that makes me hungry...

There's TONS to eat in Philly. You can get anything and everything. There's a few places that I adore. 1. Located on South Street in Philly is Lorenzo's Pizza...there's no place to sit in there and it's a tiny shop. If you don't feel like carrying your slice around you can go in the small room in the back were there's a counter and stand to eat. But the pizza is delicious and HUGE. You'll only need one slice. The last time I went it was a slice for $1 and a drink for $2....and I was stuffed. Not to mention...it's literally just a few steps away from the Theatre of the Living Arts so it's perfect for after a show. 2. My absolute favorite place though is Reading Terminal Market. It's almost overwhelming the amount of choices you get. It's a big market that combines food, knickknacks, vegetable stands, a bar, and a lot more. It's amazing. It's a fantastic place to take a group if you've got a lot of picky eaters...because you can pretty much get anything.

What not to love: I won't try to deny it. Philly is dirty. There's trash and dirt in most locations. In fact on Sperling's Best Places...it made #16 for the Worst Places for Respiratory Infections list. But the place I'm currently living made it higher on that list...and a place not too far from where I was living before was at number 1...so I'd say Philly was an improvement...much to my boyfriend's dismay.

Oh Philly...how I love you.


Tips for traveling: I've mentioned most of these in the what I love section. But here's a few more...Love Park...it's not too far from City Hall which you should definitely at least pass through. But the big red LOVE sculpture that has the L & O on top of the V & E. That's in Philly...in the warmer weather the fountains are going...just beware though. There's almost always people there asking, "Oh do you want me to take your picture for you?" Unless that person is with a big group of people, say no. 'Cause they'll just start trying to sell you Philly maps, etc.

And the public transport isn't the best...I've been on more then enough of the rails that have broken down mid-trip. Just an FYI.

There's way more then I mentioned so I'm just going to list some places/things to do that I have liked, loved, or at least visited:

Jeweler's Row
The Historic District
Rittenhouse Square
Society Hill
Elfreth's Alley (And if you were/are a big Real World fan...the Real World-Philadelphia house is not too far from here. Also if you don't care at all about reality TV you can visit the Betsy Ross house..which I've been to at least 6 times).
Get a street pretzel!
Try a cheese steak. You can either experience the competition between Pat's and Geno's or go to another place without all the hype. Either way...it's something Philly's famous for, so give it a go.
Water Ice (no, it's not a glass of ice water...it's a delicious treat known more commonly around the country as Italian Ice).

OK, I'll stop rambling about this city. It's incredible...and there's lots of cool small towns that surround it too. Again, if you're a history buff/nerd/geek you're not to far away from Fort Washington either. But basically, you're not going to run out of things to do!

Minne-Ha-Ha, Papa's and More!

Next location: Lake George, NY: The place where I stayed for a summer with my best friend.

While I was only there for one summer, I might not be the best person in the world to make recommendations, my friend Colleen who visited every summer and who's parents own a small place up there would be your best author for this post...but I'll share what I learned in one summer.

What to Love: There is a lot of natural beauty in the Lake George area. You can get lost for a long time in the gorgeousness that it is. There are old houses, shops and quaint places to stay. I mean, after all, it's in the Adirondacks of NY. With that, during our summer in Lake George, we got to visit a lot of cool places. Saratoga is a reasonable drive away. If you like horse racing...this is the place to go. If you're a history buff (which is part of my nerd resume) you can visit the Battle of Saratoga site. If you're looking for a family vacation...this is a great place to visit. Lake George is pretty reasonably priced...and if you've got little ones...you're not going to run out of ways to entertain them during your week long stay. There's arcades, mini-golf, boat tours, beaches, family friendly restaurants. If you've got bigger kids over the age of 21, there's plenty of places to go for a night out. Are you a golfer? Plenty of places to pick up a tee and spend the day on the course.

What Not to Love:If you're not big on the whole tourism thing...then this might not exactly be the location for you. Well...at least not in the summer...the other seasons I'm sure you'll avoid the tourism crowd. But not so much in the summer. Granted...it's not super busy like Disney or theme parks, not even close. But a majority of the people you'll meet will likely be out-of-towners. While there's tons to do on a week or so family vacation...after spending an entire summer there...the "Things-to-Do" list got shorter pretty fast.

Tips for Traveling: I don't know how similar it is to Papa's Ice Cream Parlor but try visiting the UpRiver Cafe. If for nothing else then the view. When I was there it was Papa's, an old favorite of locals and yearly visitors. It had the friendliest service and the best ice cream choices. I'm not sure what the menu is for UpRiver...but if you get the chance to sit outside and watch the Hudson wash by...it's incredible.

Another incredible place to visit in the Adirondacks is Saratoga Spa State Park. It's a fantastic place to just walk around. It's up to you if you want to try the Mineral water. My friend made me....it's not the most pleasant taste in the world, but it's one of those "things you should do while you're here" type deals.

And if you're in Lake George...take a ride on the Minne-Ha-Ha. It's a fun way to see the Lake and get an idea of what's around it. And you'll have the chance to purchase one of those cheesy pictures that they take of you before you board.

Bring sunscreen...just because you're in the North doesn't mean you won't get burnt to a crisp. It happened to both Colleen and I on more then one occasion...especially since the place we were waitressing had outdoor seating.

Live Free, Die...or Just Visit for a Weekend.

So I decided I'm going to write a couple of series of posts about the places I've lived. You'll see the things I loved about them and the things I wasn't too fond of and I'll wrap it up with some tips if you ever want to visit. So first off:

New Hampshire: The place where I was raised.

What to love: You know when you're watching movies and they take place in the small, quaint towns? This is where I grew up. I lived down the road from the town hall and when I was younger, a general store. When we got a little older my mom would let my brothers and I walk to the store to get a small treat. We'd sit in the common enjoying our snacks and juice boxes and Rick, the store owner who knew 95% of the town would keep an eye on us to make sure we were OK.

Falls are absolutely gorgeous in New Hampshire. Everywhere you turn is a different shade of red or orange...and the weather is absolutely perfect. Cool enough to need a sweatshirt but still warm enough to enjoy being outside. During Fall it's hard not to find those traditional "Autumn" things. Harvest Festivals happen left and right where you can buy local farmer's goods; there's pumpkins on almost every door step and apple cider is stocked in every store. Fall has always been my favorite season...and I think it's because I grew up where the state thrived in the fall.

What not to love: While it's kinda cool to pretty much always have a white Christmas...it's not so cool to have a white Halloween, white Christmas, white New Years, and white Easter...it snows...a lot. And the snow just stays...lots of people joke that our four seasons include Spring, Winter, Winter Round 2 and Winter Round 3.

While the small town feel is nice when you're a kid and looking back now it is the type of setting I could see myself raising kids in...it's kind of a pain when your a teenager who is bored out of their mind. Why do you think I left to go to Philly for school? Now, there are cities in NH and places to go, but I honestly feel like we headed to Boston for more of the big time stuff.

Tips for traveling: This tips might be useful and might not be...it depends what you're looking for in a trip. If you're used to overly hot places...NH is fantastic in the summer. I don't remember too many a summer's where I was just dying from heat. It gets warm...but always bearable. And if you haven't ever swam in one, there are TONS of lakes to try out in NH.

If you've never really visited the New England area, try out the central NH area. There's some more tourist friendly parts of the state, like Lake Winnipesaukee (you get a cookie if you pronounce it correctly on your first try...just kidding...but kudos if you do!). The lake has lots of places to rent, hotels to stay at and things to do. Renting boats and all their accessories is simple enough to do.

Also, New Hampshire doesn't have sales tax. So, if you're on vacation looking to spend a little more cash...find some outlet malls. Tilton has some that I've visited on several occasions. Also, Tilton is about 30 or so minutes away from Lake Winnipesaukee.

Also, if you're up for it...NH has some GORGEOUS camp grounds. If you don't mind a tent for a few nights, I highly recommend looking in to it. I highly recommend camping in Coos County (another cookie if you get that one right), because honestly, that's what this part of the state thrives on.

Along with camping, NH has plenty of opportunity for those outdoor activities, boating, skiing, snowboarding, swimming, canoeing/kayaking, hiking, running, etc. I was outside a majority of the time as a kid, you normally don't get board if you like nature.

So if you're visiting NH, bring your camera. Set it to Black and White. And you'll leave with gorgeous shots. Also...no matter what time of year...bring a sweatshirt/jacket. There's a reason almost everyone in the state owns a Northface.

Another FYI: New Hampshire's motto, "Live Free or Die". Yup, we take that pretty seriously. No helmet laws, fire crackers allowed, if you're an adult you can choose whether or not to wear a seat belt and that's just a few.

A New Blogger

I am 100% completely new to this whole blogging this...well actually that's not true...I blogged for about 3 months my freshmen year of college...and it probably wasn't that often. Truthfully, I'm trying out for size, 1. because my boyfriend is big into blogging and seems to really enjoy it. 2. I'm currently bored out of my mind.

Granted things will change extremely soon...starting a new job, moving away, helping the boyfriend find a job around where I'll be, and going to about a ton of weddings this summer. But life is really, really good for me right now and I'm extremely excited for all of these things to happen.

So we'll see if this blog lasts...and how I like it...I'm more of a write things down in a journal and let nobody read it type of girl...but maybe it's time to share with the world.